I talked to him. It was... strange, nothing more. I told my boyfriend too, and (like I expected) he was angry and jealous for about a second, but then he was happy that I had the chance to talk to him. Of course my ex did not tell his girlfriend, because he cheated on her with me (though it seems so long ago now). The realization that I was in an non-controlling, open communication relationship was really nice.
So he wanted to talk that night. I thought it would be hard to talk to him, but it was pure, at ease, and like a day didn't go by that we didn't talk. We talked for over two hours and caught up about life. He's still the same animal I knew. He likes to drink and do outrageous things like race his truck and get into fights, but he also grew up in the fact that he likes to get his work done. He is ahead of the others in his Navy league (he's training to be a submarine tech), and he doesn't miss a day. He just parties on the weekends a little too hard.
The sad news about him, however, is the way he treats his girlfriend. I'm sorry. The way he treats his fiance. He has been with her since we separated, and although he never once cheated on me, he cheated on her often, and he still cheats on her to this day.He asked me for advice on what to do, and the only thing I could think of to say was for them to break up. He cannot stand her fighting with him, and she cannot stand his drinking (which could become a real problem some day). But she won't break up with him, and he'll continue his extreme lifestyle with her on the side. It's unfortunate.
Overall, though, it was nice to speak to him again. The best thing about it was that he listened to me. He even asked me questions and sat through some long stories. He even asked me how my boyfriend and I got together, wanting to know every detail. This is important because he never listened to me. It was always him talking and me sitting idle and quiet. So he has grown a little.
My boyfriend, when I first told him I was going to speak to my ex said to me: "Well why don't you get back together with him? You should keep your options open... etc." I promptly returned to him that he was an idiot and that this response was childish and jealous. But when I talked to my ex I realized how much I like him. Like him. He was a great, fun, and dramatic part of my life, and I will always like him... but that is all. He was never good for a relationship. He was good for the ups and downs - the roller coaster that we were, but he was never the grown, mature one that I need. His faults are many, and I cannot accept those faults in someone I am dating, but I can accept those faults in a dear friend.
So perhaps we've finally reached a time in our lives when we can be "just friends", and I accept that with open arms.